Where rainbow ends??

i woke up that day not knowing that my worst nightmare was going to come true.
when you finally said those words..its like something inside just died.
i knew it was true..for so long i just dint want to aknowledge the fact..
i knew...but where,how,what..went wrong?why did something so seemingly perfect change in just a matter of months?
your simple 'i dont know' left me walking in circles..it did nothing to ease the ache that im feeling inside.
i look at those familiar eyes of your hoping that i could still see myself in them,but they were just filled with tears..
we both knew..without words,this was it.
for good,for bad,for the past,for the future without you..

this time its just different.its over.this wasnt something that would end with another sorry..
it was just one final time that i have to thank you.we were together because neither of us could handle the idea of alone,again.
but hanging on was becoming more painful than letting go..i now come to realize..
i never thought that i would be without you again.
i thought taking a step forward with you,did not mean taking 3steps back without you..
im finding my way thru this dense place,finding the meaning in life..
trying to dissolve the emptiness by laughter.
every moment alone is just hard to go on..
each night it gets harder because theres nothing to keep me occupied anymore.
thats when i start to think again.
i put on the ear piece hoping that to sounds of DJs would perhaps transport me to dreamland..
they rarely do.
the void silence just reverberates louder each time  
it just makes you want to scream..and that perpectually just drives me crazy..
moving on is really hard.
im tired on doing something and it just reminds me of you..
dempsey hill,ben and jerry's,just about everything
today..i threw away the last one of your letter..
maybe today i should throw away the last one of my tears for you.

time will heal the pain.it will heal the wound..
maybe one day when i think of you,i'll smile,sincerely..
instead of the forced one that im giving rite now..

love hurts..but sometimes its the good hurt..its not so bad.

how come im feeling this way now?,,
everything is how it should be but how come something still feels missing
i just cant face the fact that everything is no longer going to be the same,
you've changed so have i..then how come i feel like im giving so much more than im taking?
everyday i wake up trying to tell myself that things will be better today..
but it never had..
each night i cry myself to sleep telling hoping that somehow the tears will slowly erode away that piercing pain.
but its still there.
never left..
where are you,.
all i ever wanted was for you to hold me in your arms to tell me that you're gonna make everything alrite..
but how come im becoming the one saying all that?
where are you?
i know im supposed to feel in love at the bliss of it all but all i feel rite now is the confusion swirling in my mind,
i dont even know whats happening.
each time we fight i cry a lil' less..
but it hurts more and more each day,,
on good days we smile.
on bad days we laugh..and then cry..
ths empty paradox that unfailingly guided me thru my every step never left.
so what if i told you everything?
nothing is solved..
it just exploded and yet still im the one here clearing up the mess(i've caused)..
all i've ever hoped and wish for is for you by my side..
but its never going to be possible is it?
i'll just have to continue wearing the mask..
its the only way thats gonna work..
and today is supposed to be a happy day..
where are you?...
im cant do this anymore..
i really cant hate you anymore..

Link relink plsssss.
Moving back to my old bloggg. Sryyyyyyyy guys.
I promise it's the last time moving , hopefully! :D

http://rhythmical-swirl.blogspot.com/



Super thanks :D

Anyways , different language are used so don't bother searching for what i'm saying.

Min & Ber , you know the reason <3



<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 Min, Ber, Belle! :DD

Eeeee how dead manz.
I regretted coming here to blog -___-
It's like right now , even if i want to change back to blogger , it'll be such a nuisance to keep asking ppl to link.
Tsktsk.

Anws , woooooots. I've grown talllllerrr looo!
Ytd height and weight. 150cm. LOLL. I know still short lah but at least i've finally grown taller and no longer 140++ okayyyy.
Hehehehe.


Then.... I can't remember the rest already. Oh choir was boringggggggg.
Then then then.

The previous night got people faint at my house downstairs. Scary. Wanted to call ambulance cause my bro & sis told me to do so , then will get reward or something -.- But obviously didn't. I scared is cause he was drunk then sleep on the floor..

Heehahaahahohoho.
I'm 150 leh. Finally but sadly was shortest in class but i don't care .

Yayyyyzzzz , tmrrrrrrrrr gonnnaaaaa cceeeellleeeeebbbrrraaaatttteeeeee mmmyyyyyy bbbiiiirrrttthhhdddaaaayyyy wwwiiitthhhh classmates. So hopefully won't be cancelled or postponed to next week or  i'll be sooo disappointed? :D



http://rhythmical-swirl.blogspot.com/

http://rhythmical-swirl.blogspot.com/



Go sseeeee go seeeeee the first post but there's no nid for you to link meee cause i'll be blogging at here and thr...

Even though i miss thr more X: hehs.

Hohohohhoo.
Today was fun fun. After school , went to Jalan Kayu with Min , Belle , Ced , Clarice & Amanda.
Ate & took 103 round jalan kayu. Hmm quite funnnnnnnz. Haha <3
Then went for choir lo. It's freaking boring , as usual.
Tsktsktsktsktsktsktsk but luckily sharifah came and sooo , at least got someone to talk to.

& i hate catssssssssssssssssssssssss................................................


From today onwards , gonna studyyy. I don't wanna procrastinate anymoreeeee. It's piling up like shit. With alot of math sums unsolved & things to memorise. Shitty shitty shit shit shit. So rush .. Eoy exam is like hmm... 6 or 7 more weeks frm now?
Hohohohhoho.





You stole my smile away & trampled on my heart.

Ytd went out with Bernice & Min. Hohohoaaaaaa. Love them alot alot alot. Yeah! Thanks for accompanying me still.
Since the previous post is about that day so yups , shan't post much bout it! :D
But still , anws , love ya two.
& they're damn retarded though -___-

So went around looking for backpack & after deciding , went back to the shop & bought it. Eh cuteeeee guy leh- Min. then went to buy graphic teeee. Wanted to buy "FRIENDS DONT LET THEIR FRIENDS TALK TO UGLY GUY" with bernice but sadly , don't have other colours so i bought another one.
Hohohoho. & Little India , HAHA super racist. & to clarke quay & to min's hs and back home at 10plus.

Was alone at home. & it's quite scary cause i'm ALONEEEE & It's the 7th Month.


& Today , was feeeeling so freaking sick. It's like a mixture of weird things inside my stomach which makes me feel sooo sick & crapulous maybe cause i drank alot of water today? O: Fuck. & i ending up taking naps didn't make it to her house. Woke up at 3pm and was feeeling better. Hah. 4 pm went to find raenes. Placed the present outside gab's doorstep. HAPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE :DDDDDD
Then went to hg mall. Walked and bought food! Talked alot. Haha <333. Waited for her bus & went back home.
Raining rainingg raiiiiiinniiinnnggg.

mum's car broke down just now.and it was raining like crazy when i was helping her jumpstart her car.and now im having a terrible flu,a banging headache,and a fever.man..havent fell sick in such a long time.i really forgotten how horrendous it feels like to be ill.funny how you always wished that you'll fall sick so you'd have the perfect excuse to actually skip school.then shite man,when it really happens to you,all you feel like doing is wish for it to go away(: haha..

im feeling REAL accomplished today for like two major reasons..im blogging(miracle isnt it?2days in a row!) and secondly.i had everything sorted out.maybe thats why it feels like the chain that was bounded within my already heavy heart have finally excavated and thrown away casted away as an distant memory..

thank you for being ther to hear me out,
thank you for still caring even after everything.
thank you for being something that i hold so close and true to my heart
i cant imagine days without you anymore.
nightmares that seems to lurk within the curtains of my mind no longer seem to haunt me.
however.rainbows of tmr just makes me anticipate its arrival.
thank you for making my dreams come true.
time and again.
you're my angel.
i love you.

had sooo much fun today thank  y'all i love you guys man.seriosly.lil' girl dont thank us for keeping you company coz,well..i think that it was actually you who kept me company(:
ok the details you can hear it all from the girl,so im just gonna concentrate typing bout what i wanna say here.coz im sooo irritated that my last post dint get published for some crappy reason coz i sooo clearly rembered that i posted!aah!
fine i shall talk my very interesting day(first)..
met up with my girls and went to bugis and it was the most fantastic girl's day out!maybe it was the weather..or was it the clothes we wore?r was it the place we went?.no it wasnt(: actually i think it was coz of the people we went with.i really had soo much fun.bernice bought her top..(ok it was totally retarded..something to do woth FRIENDS DONT LET THEIR FRIENDS TALK TO UGLY GUY..haha..and it was coz of the SUPER CUTE guy we saw in the morning(: hahahaha..poor guy)haha..anyway,after that we went to clarke quay..where i personally dirtied bernice's weird shoes for the 2nd time of the day(: haha.then we just headed back for dinner at my house!(: haha..
that was the day in summary..stay tuned to find out more!(: hhaaah



its only when im alone that i realize the tremor inside isnt about my insecurity
it is about how i feel.why does it feel so different.it may not be something bad.
but pls,i like how i felt it the first time round.
how is it now that i feel so broken.so messed and torn apart..when yesterdays were just days before..
how is it that things just doesnt feel right when everything is just how it should be.
am i that fragile?..becoz i wanna be strong.i like being strong.
why is it when im all alone that i realize how empty i feel inside.
its like the bottomless  pit in my heart has just taken control and made it so contagious that now even my mind is in a trance.
being alone freaks me out.because i sont what to think of you.
i really dont want to face what im feeling right now.
because i dont have the guts to handle it.
i dont have to courage to accept it.
i dont have the strength to face it.
i know you dont too,